Thursday, February 3, 2011

21st Century Butthurt Man

So, you guys have seen the grammy nominations, right? I think just about everyone who's interested in music has been butthurt about the grammys at one point or another. However, most of us stopped caring long ago, because the grammys are so obviously a soulless, idiotic pageant of pusillanimous pop music that we don't even have the butthurt to spare. You might say, The Grammys, dude?? Baby's first butthurt.

But then they did something that I just cannot ignore. That's right grammys, you have my attention for the first time in years, and had I the resources and a curative for my crippling agoraphobia, I would march out to the Staples Center, burn that mother to the ground and douse the flames with a mighty blast of piss.

What might you ask, has got me as butthurt as a pack of web-saavy Egyptians?

Let's take a look at the album of the year nominations:

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire
Recovery - Eminem
Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
The Fame Monster - Lady Gaga
Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

So, these are the grammys for 2010, right? You're telling me you had a spot for Lady Gaga's The Fame Monster, which came out in 2009, and yet you didn't have a fucking nomination to spare for the best-reviewed album of the year? Yes, I'm talking about Kanye West's My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, a mainstream hip-hop/pop album, exactly the kind of music these grammy voters usually gobble up like day-old jizz -- which is to say with vigorous enthusiasm -- but an album that was also hailed unilaterally by anyone with a fucking brain stem as the best thing to come out in a long, long time. Hell, I don't mind saying it, I think it's the best album to come out since Funeral. Yeah, I went there. This was the number one album according to Spin, Rolling Stone, Vibe, and Pitchfork (who gave it a perfect ten, btw), but fuck all that, because it was the number one album according to me! Anyone who can make a King fucking Crimson sample seem perfectly timed and vitally relevant to their music deserves some kind of medal in my book, and that's just one of hundreds of brilliant moments on a sprawling, blood sweat and tears masterpiece.

I'mma let you finish guys, but Mubarak was one of the best presidents of all time!
 And you gave a nomination to Katy Perry? Katy fucking Perry???? That troll can't even fucking sing! She's only famous because she said she likes kissing girls! I mean, I'm all about some girls kissing, but she's basically the cultural equivalent of that skanky chick who stands up on the bar and makes out with her wasted friend because she can't get any guys to pay attention to her! Whhaaaaatt the fuuuuuuuuuccckk???

Next time I'm about to look at the grammy nominations, someone do me a favor and shoot me in the head.




ANY GAY FISH WHO WANTS TO LEAVE A COMMENT ABOUT HOW KANYE SUCKS AND NEEDS TO SHUT UP SHOULD GO STAB HIMSELF IN THE EYES WITH AN AIDS-INFECTED SYRINGE. CHURCH.

39 comments:

  1. Ima let you finish, but... just kidding. His album was alright. Although of the ones nominated, The Suburbs - Arcade Fire is in my opinion the best.

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  2. I never really see the grammies, but
    my music comes from an entirely different country xD so of course i dont really watch.
    however, lol egypt...well done xD

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  3. i agree with you man, the grammys are a pile of crap

    but the kanye west album intrigues me...i'm more of a rocker and i dont know if i'd like that album, but hell, everytime someone talks about it, i get the urge to listen to it

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  4. haha nice title and article :D

    followed

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  5. Oh boy, violence is not my thing.

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  6. I still prefer Lady Gaga's album, I'm such a casual.

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  7. LOL. this article made my day. God damn Katy Perry.

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  8. Just like Come Shot said, this made my day.

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  9. I don't even care about grammys and other shitty awards. There is no good popular music. And by popular I mean that from radio/TV and generally by media, not popular because many people like it.

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  10. Sigh
    I don't believe how some people can listen to some of the shit these people put out :/

    I really enjoyed Kanye West in 30 Secs to Mar's Hurrican>>

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  11. I really did like Graduation.
    But I'm not butthurt by the grammies, I really feel it's about as relevant as the golden globes. They award pop culture for no good reason, and I find it hard to see if there's actually anybody who cares.

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  12. I've gotten to the point that I really don't care. All those fat cats are just choosing what they think should went, not what really should win.

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  13. Oh lawdy, so much rage. I agree though, that nomination list is just...wow

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  14. So, how much did Gaga have to pay to get a 2009 album nominated for 2010?

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  15. I agree with everyone saying who gives a fuck about the grammies. They lost respect a long time ago. But I do feel bad for Kanye because he has stated in the past that he really wants to win Grammy for AOTY. Which is what drives him to continually push himself artistically.

    MBDTF is AOTY in my book.

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  16. Katy perry, woooooooooohooooooo.....oh wait... -_-

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  17. Totally agree, why can't Katy Perry just use what god DID give her and do porn?

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  18. The grammys are a waste of time. You're the man bro.

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  19. Ah, grammys...So much hate for Kanye. Poor dude.

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  20. Ur right Kanye should be nominated its an excellent album.

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  21. I dont like Kanye, but this is growing on me.

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  22. Why do you even care about some awards? It's always about the popularity and money rather than quality.

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  23. I stopped watching the grammys a looong time ago. They aren't about talent at all, it's all a popularity contest like in Highschool. So, I see no need to get upset over it, not winning is a good thing in my opinion.

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  24. Arcade Fire is the only worthy album on that list. "Sprawl II" is where it's at.

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  25. Nice blog. Im gonna start following you

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  26. What in teh world did I just read...

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  27. The Grammies have always been a joke.. I always preferred the American Music Awards

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  28. The grammy noms made me sick :[

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  29. Dude grammy's has always been bullshit but seeing Arcade Fire is something good.

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  30. I lol'd so hard at the last pic's caption. XD

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  31. yeah, grammies suck :(
    nice blog you have here

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  32. I'm not a big Kanye West fan, but he still got some good stuff if you like hip hop,
    nice article btw

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  33. today about million people in the streets,it is the last week for Mubarak

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  34. This post is absolute truth. Glad to see someone serve it up hot for a change. Loved the article and look forward to more.

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  35. i am not so much interested in the music like you, but i can tell that Katy Perry is just another cute face. As for Kanye West well he did a mistake long ago, but people somehow don't forget it.

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  36. i dont waste my time on awards shows, screw the grammy's

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  37. Honestly, I really believe it's probably Eminem because it's just such a juicy story for the Grammy's. I mean, who doesn't love a reformed drug addict in today's society?

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